Focus on Feelings, not Resolutions
This New Year… focus on FEELINGS, not RESOLUTIONS!
January marks the start of another year. For some, this is seen as a time of new beginnings and a fresh start filled with enthusiasm and excitement.
A time to commit to self-improvement rituals and changes in lifestyle and habits. These are often referred to as 'Resolutions.'
But often, these good intentions (resolutions) only last a short time.
This was the case for me in the past. I used to start out with hopeful intent to begin the new year fresh, then made lots of rules around what I should or shouldn't do to leave my old negative patterns behind. Without realising it, I was setting myself up to fail, but it wasn't from a lack of trying!
I discovered that trying to give up things was exactly what was setting me up for failure.
It wasn't until I began to do my own personal 'work' to banish the booze and live alcohol free that I learnt the methods to successfully change my habits and perceptions.
"The change in our lives begins with the change in our minds"
- Adele Basheer
This has been one of the biggest blessings in my life as it helped me to gain my freedom from the grip of alcohol, a powerful yet legal, addictive drug. Unfortunately, in our alcohol-centric society, it's the only drug you have to justify NOT taking!
Learning strategies of how changing my mindset to make alcohol insignificant in my life has been life-changing and most probably lifesaving.
DON'T SHOULD ON YOURSELF!
Making 'New Year Resolutions' is centred upon the concept of self-improvement and is often based on 'shoulds'. In terms of goal setting, this approach is flawed and often comes from a place of fear. We tend to focus on what we perceive we SHOULD be doing to 'fix' ourselves or correct the parts we least like about ourselves.
These goals can come from a place of stress and can be uninspiring, drain our motivation and sabotage our resolve.
FOCUS ON FEELINGS INSTEAD OF SPECIFIC GOALS!
However, if we look a little closer, beneath the surface of why we want to make these changes, our goals are always about creating change in how we want to feel.
In my case, I no longer wanted to feel hungover, tired, bloated, anxious, depressed, unworthy, and have low self-esteem.
Instead, I wanted to create feelings of being inspired, healthy, energetic, happy, confident, and in control of my actions.
Taking consistent, daily action, or just small, regular steps towards how you want to FEEL, as opposed to what you SHOULD do, can help set you up for SUCCESS.
The word 'consistent' is crucial.
Consider these questions and journal your thoughts:
WHY is your goal important?
What is the desired feeling underneath your goal?
Then ask yourself further:
What can I do today that gets me into this feeling?
What do I need to STOP doing to get me into this feeling?
What new thoughts will make me feel this way?
What thoughts are stopping me from feeling this?
When you get clear on how you want to feel, it's easier to focus on the action or choices you can make.
TIPS:
Celebrate your wins and small accomplishments
Visualise yourself having/being/doing – see, hear, and embody the feeling you want to achieve with your goal
Be accountable. Tell someone you can trust
Over time, you will create new habits, and your brain will notice this and associate these habits with good feelings, resulting in new neural pathways being formed.
Through neuroplasticity, we can reprogram our behaviour.
If you are seeking support and accountability to achieve your sobriety goal in 2023, get in touch with me for a free consultation to see if we would be a good fit and if I can be of service to you.
Anytime is a good time to regain control over alcohol and feel your best self.
It doesn’t just have to be in January…
If you’d like to learn more about how you could Find your Freedom and achieve success like many of my coaching clients, check out my Coaching Services.
Maybe, you need to get away from it all with like-minded women who are travelling the same journey as you? Explore my next Serenity Escape Retreat - it’s just what you need!
May your year ahead be blessed with infinite possibilities, a healthy mind, body, and spirit, and far exceed your expectations!
With Gratitude,
Cindy